Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Let the Dawg be the Dawg. I love the grouchy, self-aggrandizing Randy Jackson who’s worked with every artist in the known world and who so shuns actual musical theory that he has devised his own music vocabulary for the show. He shouldn’t try to “impress” us with things like “proper grammar” or “actual words” or “lines of thought.” We want the “dudes.” We want the “dawgs.” We want the “dope.”
Let Paula be Paula. No one likes a sober, coherent Paula Abdul. When it’s week four of the finals and all the contestants are butchering Randy Newman song after Randy Newman song, the prospect of a quote from Paula like, “Sometimes when I’m a princess in…where…smoky banjo,” is all we have to keep us tuned in.


Tell Simon to quit phoning it in. His quips have gotten stale. We should all play a drinking game for whenever Simon says “cabaret” or “Broadway” or “old-fashioned” or “Portuguese dinner theater.” Hopefully he’ll come back all fresh and sparkly when the show is live again with fresh, new phrases like “Malaysian dinner theater.”
What are your thoughts? I know it’s really difficult to improve on the well-oiled machine that is “American Idol”, but if you were in charge for a day, what would you do?
Labels: american idol